John Meyer Books
The TV Show Showdown
All three interviews were early in the morning and that meant little sleep before each one. Going to bed early didn’t help. Drinking a little wine before bed didn’t help either. No matter what I did, I couldn’t help but toss and turn while I thought about the subsequent interview and the possible scenarios (positive and negative). What’s worse was the creeping possibility that I might eventually fall fast asleep and miss my alarm.
However, for each day of the interview, I woke up in plenty of time to perform my morning ritual: make coffee, shave, shower, and iron my shirt and pants. Three different shirts, same pants each time. No, I wouldn’t call them my “lucky pants.” I just own few dress pants. I’m a TV writer not a courtroom lawyer!
Time to go.
CTV: I don’t own a car; I live downtown (where parking is expensive and the walking proximity to everything I need makes owning a car somewhat needless). So I drove to CTV in a mini-van. A mini-van I borrowed from Global Television that obnoxiously advertised Global TV shows. There was absolutely no denying where it came from and who owned it. I half-suspected the CTV security staff would tow it away.
Global: Because the TV studio is in mid-town (and not in the suburbs like CTV), I took a cab in the driving rain. But the security guard didn’t have any record of my appearance, so I had to pace around the lobby until a producer arrived. The pacing wasn’t a nervous reaction. Global just doesn’t supply chairs for its guests inside the lobby. Hmmm.
CHCH: The TV station is in Hamilton, so it meant driving the Global van again. But the mini-van with the obnoxious advertisements wasn’t available, so I drove the big white behemoth. It was meant for driving around cargo and TV set pieces, not an author with ironed dress pants.
Once I arrived, the routine was always the same. I sign in at security, try to get hold of the producer who booked me, and wait.
CTV: A floor director eventually retrieved me from the comfortable lobby and led me to the makeup room. And then fetched me a coffee. And later, another. And later, another. Then there was my brief panic to find a poppy. It was a week before Remembrance Day and everyone on TV wears a poppy to salute the troops. But I didn’t have one. I found one lying around in one of the other empty rooms. There was no waaaaaay I was going on TV without a poppy. I would be shunned by society. Poppy crisis diverted, there was nothing left to do but nervously wait and drink coffee. Lots and lots of coffee.
Global: There was no panic of any kind. The producer retrieved me from the chairless lobby and led me to the makeup lady. Then I had a short but pleasant wait in the hallway outside the studio. Pleasant because there were comfy chairs and the coffee was good.
CHCH: No one came to get me. It was all very do-it-yourself. The security guard led me to an elevator and pushed the button. That’s it. I wandered the second floor hallway and notified a passing blonde about my arrival. She would “let someone know.” I think she was the morning weather girl. I soon found the green room AKA the kitchen. A big sign announced that guests could help themselves to bagels, orange juice, and coffee. Okaaay. I drank coffee and hoped for the best. Eventually, the host herself showed up to attach my audio pack. Okaaay. No need for makeup either. Someone would come to get me when it was my time. Okaaay. (But the interview itself was lovely and the best one of the bunch, so don’t let pre-show appearances fool you.)
Then came the interviews. They always ended the same. “Thank you for coming.” Then get the hell out of the studio! These were busy morning shows; they had new guests coming in.
CTV: I lingered on the set. I knew the morning weather man and we talked for awhile in the corner—quietly—and far away from the live cooking segment. I returned to the makeup room and washed my face. The producer escorted me to the front door and gave me a Canada AM mug.
Global: Same thing. Except there was no weather man. And I didn’t get a mug.
CHCH: Same as Global. Except I didn’t have to wash my face. And I wandered the halls alone.
The routine after a morning interview was always the same. I sat in the van or taxi and obsessed about my performance. And I avoided social media for the rest of the morning. I needed to properly process each one before I could read about what my friends thought. And each time it led to a humble acceptance of “what’s done is done.” And I hoped for the best.
Breakfast was always next. And then the pointless exercise of a late morning nap. Even after the interview was done, I still tossed and turned while thinking about the interview and the possible scenarios (positive and negative). But, at least, I no longer had the creeping possibility that I might miss my alarm.
For more posts on this self-publishing journey, check out:
https://www.johnmeyerbooks.com/resolution-to-self-publish/
https://www.johnmeyerbooks.com/validation-part-one/
https://www.johnmeyerbooks.com/validation-part-two/