Top 10 Disturbing Things About “It’s a Wonderful Life”

(* This post was written years ago as a tipsy, knee-jerk reaction after several festive eggnogs on a cold winter’s night. This is not a deep-dive into 1940’s Hollywood… Happy Holidays!)

I can guarantee you that I cry at least twice a year. And when I mean “cry,” I mean tears streaming down my cheeks and not openly sobbing and blowing my nose.

And that’s during Christmas week when I religiously watch Scrooge (AKA 1951’s A Christmas Carol starring Alastair Sim) and It’s A Wonderful Life (on DVD, and in black-and-white, and without network commercials).

When I was in college and living in a house with four other young men, we’d drink naughty nogs & red wine and watch these movies in the dark so we could sneakily wipe our eyes without anyone noticing.

Even now, after repeated viewings and an encyclopedic knowledge of these holiday films, the tears still return. There is just something maudlin and infinitely moving about Ebenezer Scrooge‘s change of heart and George Bailey‘s sudden knowledge of the impact that he’s had on the health of his community that just lifts my blackened soul.

However, no movie is perfect. And no movie is without the context of the time it was developed and released. America in 2012 is much different than it was in Frank Capra’s 1946. Clearly.

So allow me to ruin expose enlighten share my personal “Top Ten Disturbing Things About It’s A Wonderful Life“ – presented in the order that they appear in the film – and not in the order of importance.

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10. Heaven doesn’t sound like such a happy perfect place. First of all, the angels with wings are teasing Clarence because he hasn’t earned his yet. Great. So there’s hierarchy and competition in heaven too? And what’s with the book selection in heaven’s bookstore? Clarence is reading The Adventures of Tom Sawyer. Tom Sawyer is a mischievous prankster who gets his friends into trouble with his lies and his active imagination. Doesn’t heaven’s bookstore carry any books that are a bit more… holy? (I bet Mitch Albom books do really well up there now.)

9. George Bailey has a part-time job at Mr. Gower’s drug store…at the age of 12! The child labour law in the U.S. in the early twentieth century stated that “children between 12 and 16 may be employed in allowed occupations during limited hours…with parental permission.” Way to take advantage of the child labour law, Mr. Gower! And thanks for letting him do it, Peter Bailey.

8. And then a drunk and depressed Mr. Gower really smacks the hell out of 12 year-old George when he fails to deliver the poisonous pills! “Don’t hurt my sore ear again!” Sure, sure, George, forgave him and never told a soul. Or maybe… George was just scared to death of what mean Mr. Gower would do to him if he ever told the authorities. Oh, but ten years later, Mr. Gower buys George a secondhand suitcase for his trip to Europe. I guess we’re all square now…

7. Bert the cop is quite the horndog. (And they always refer to him as “Bert the cop” too. Not just Bert. I guess it distinguishes him from “Bert the gynecologist” and “Bert the unemployed mime.”) For example, as soon as Bert the cop sees Violet Bick walk the street in a semi-tight dress he mutters to his friends, “better see what the wife’s doing.” Bert the cop’s wife is about to get real busy…

6. Oh, then there’s Annie, the Baileys’ maid. She’s a saucy sort who doesn’t mind it when 18 year-old Harry Bailey slaps her ass. And… umm… she’s the only African-American in town. And… umm… she’s a maid. Umm… err… let’s move on.

5. The Bedford Falls High School in 1928 has a swimming pool underneath the gym floor? Daaaamn. My high school didn’t have a swimming pool. My high school didn’t even have a team nickname. And that’s free.

4. We all know Mr. Potter is evil. He’s a rich miser who wants to own everything and everyone in town. But you know who else is quite evil? Harry Bailey. His older brother, George, has been waiting for four long years for Harry to return home from college – on money that George gave to him ie. it was college money that George rightfully earned for himself but gave away so he could run the Bailey Brothers Building & Loan after his father suddenly died. And what does Harry do? He impulsively marries his college sweetheart after his future father-in-law offers him a research job at his glass factory… in Buffalo! I’ve been to Buffalo, Harry, and that’s a lousy job! “George, George, George, that’s all Harry keeps talking about…” Yeah, as in, “I can’t wait to screw over my brother, George, George, George, when I get back…”

3. After his selfish brother humiliates George, our sad hero reluctantly visits Mary Hatch. But Mary’s nosy mother won’t leave them alone, hoping that Mary will whore herself out for Sam Wainwright and his money, which suitably annoys Mary a little. “He’s making violent love to me, Mother!” Violent love? Most parents would storm into the room to see what the hell’s going on. Mrs. Batch can’t even bother to come down the stairs.

2. Martini’s bar seems like kind of a snoozefest. The music is just awful. No wonder the schoolteacher’s husband punches George in the mouth. (Yes, I know it was because George insulted his wife on the telephone. But the bad music wasn’t helping.) Then during Clarence’s nightmare sequence, Martini’s bar is now called Nick’s. But the bar is hopping and the music is awesome. And, oh hey, there’s an African-American playing the piano. Looks like the black population of Bedford Falls has suddenly doubled. I wonder if he knows Annie? The point is: this is a nightmare. Good music and an African-American piano player represents what’s wrong with Bedford Falls…sorry, Potterville… if George Bailey was never born. Yikes. About the only bad thing about this bar is that they don’t carry mulled wine for good ol’ Clarence but rather “hard drinks for men to get drunk fast.” Just like Cancun.

1. And, as is evident in the film’s nightmare sequence, if you’re a woman and you’re not married by the age of 34, you’re branded an “old maid.” And there is apparently no greater shame than that. Mary Batch, the prettiest girl in town, now wears unsightly glasses and a hat to cover up her lovely hair. She also must work in the library, an absolutely horrid place full of losers who only dream of leaving town and exploring the world. There is absolutely no happiness available if you’re a woman over 35 who remains unmarried to a man.

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Like I said, no movie is perfect. And no movie is made without the context of the time it was developed and released.

But no matter. I will still watch It’s A Wonderful Life again next year – warts and all. And yes, I will once again sit in the dark and drink red wine or naughty nogs. And yes, the tears will once again flow. They certainly did last night.

MERRY CHRISTMAS! 

For more lists regarding movies and television, check out:

https://www.johnmeyerbooks.com/best-written-tv-series/

https://www.johnmeyerbooks.com/12-movies-for-12-days-of-christmas/

https://www.johnmeyerbooks.com/top-5-movies-that-make-me-cry/